Taco-tastic!

Damn, that's impressive. Our 100 taco effort has been eclipsed. I ate 12 which I think topped our table, but I wouldn't have picked Steph to eat 16.

I'd like to establish some ground rules. First, the winning team will have to consume the most tacos per person. If a table of 8 eats 100 but a table of 10 eats 105, the table of 8 should win. Second, no touching of the hair or face. And that's it!

There is merit in a tacos-per-person scoring system. And the no touching hair or face rule also is sound. I would add, however, that you should be allowed to touch your own hair and face....if you are so inclined.

We also have it on good authority from your waitress that Never Nudes only ordered 80 tacos. I'm only repeating what she told us. I'm certainly not suggesting any impropriety in your taco-tally reporting system. But we might have to insist on an official observer.

You are correct in that our initial order was 80 tacos. However, upon arrival of two more of our teammates, we ordered an extra 20.

We also had a waiter, not a waitress. The fact that you got this wrong makes me wonder what else you're lying about. Did you even eat 100+ tacos?

Yes. And we drank 37 pitchers of beer, too.

Actually, our waiter told us your "waitress" only reported 80 tacos. The supplemental order of 20 explains the discrepancy. I have no explanation for the waiter/waitress issue. Although, I did drink 17 pitchers of beer myself, so that might have something to do with it.

Is this purely a team contest or can I submit personal bests to the competition.  I mean, 12 is a respectable number, but I've definitely eaten 17 (+/- 1) without much trouble.  I think I could crack 20 given decent warning.

The Pickles are going out for tacos after our last game this coming tuesday, maybe I'll go for an official personal best.

 Do I need an outside observer or can I just let my team mates vouch for me?  Also, is there some sort of beer to taco ratio that needs to be adhered to?

I sense a challenge.

Perhaps we should put Steph Wong and Jon Hines up to a head-to-head "tacoff".

I have no problem with crowning an individual Taco King and/or Queen.

However for the team contest I think there should be a minimum of 5 people involved since it's on a per-person basis.

As for beer, I don't see any reason to require its consumption. Most people will drink it anyway. I guess it depends on how seriously you take taco eating contests arranged on forums by people who don't want to do their real jobs.

Somewhere, there exists a Taco Bell Taco Crown.  We must find one...

Yes, Jon.... all teams are welcome to the taco-mania. I would love to see Jon Hines and Steph Wong duke it out over tacos. However, I think it should be judged on a taco-to-weight ratio.  

Beer is good, but it is secondary to the taco. Though it is nice to buy drinks as a way of compensating the bar for drowing the kitchen staff in taco orders:  "Yes, we'd like 780 tacos, please."

I'm giddy with excitement.

I'm against the taco-per-person rule.  It's dumb.  Sure there may be a discrepancy in the number of team members present between the teams, but there's something to be said to the team who shows up with the most members.  They should be rewarded for that.

I'm formulating a strategy for our team as we speak but obviously will not be posting the details on the website.  But Mr. Hines, I would stock up on some tissues.

I think you all need to stock up on toilet paper.  As an outside observer I'm also wondering about a puke-rule.  Is puking legit in order to bolster total consumption, or does it lead to a team/individual forfeit?

So seeing as everyone else is speaking for me, I figured I should put my actual two cents in.

 The correct number of tacos consumed that night by yours truly was 17.  The 17th was the prize for the rock, paper, scissors contest that was going on forever. So while Neenah was cleaning the table, and brought the taco a bit too close, I ate it.

Secondly, I just want it to be known, there was no preparation for the eating of the 17 tacos.  We were all to eat 10 tacos and Niki only wanted 4 so I offered to eat her other 6.   

In terms of the eating challenge of this week, I think that puking should not be allowed.  It has to all stay down for at least 24 hours.  It can come out other ways, but once it goes in the mouth, if it comes back out that way, you're disqualified as an individule and your total gets subtracted from the team total.   

 What's the paper-rock-scissors sign for nothing? I hear it beats rock.
Also, the guy wearing the taco crown in the picture is Jeremy Cain, a friend of mine from high school.
And I'm with Higy, there is no per person rule. If your bring a bigger team, you should benefit. But I do want to hear the result of the Jon Hines-Steph Wong head to head. I'm betting on Steph, though Neenah would beat both of you.

--
the answer, my friend, is hammer in the wind
the answer is hammer in the wind
-Bob Dylan

Nothing beats nothing. If there is a dispute requiring rock-paper-scissors, the disputants should resort to the UPA's official rules of Ro-Sham-Bo.  Note that these rules do include "fire" and "water." Every ultimate player should be familiar with these rare but mighty throws.

As decided upon at location:

Team average.

Any details? Our team had 140 eaten, but 14 people so our average was 10/person.

In a taco-eating contest, there really are no losers. But, since we all more or less agreed on site that the grand prize goes to most tacos per team, I think that was the Pickle Bombs, with something in the 170-180 range, if I remember correctly. Very impressive. Congratulations Pickle Bombs. They were led by their super-gut leader, Jon Hines, who tore through 24 tacos. He looked a little light-headed when he left, though. I hope he made it home alright.

Other notables........ Since it was difficult to monitor the number of players each team had participating, the tacos-per-person team award is a little bit uncertain, but probably went to Team Electric. They didn't have a huge roster out at Ethel's, but with three players eating 20 or more tacos each and several more in the high teens, they likely had that category in the bag.

The award for most taco goo on the shirt goes to Chris Braun of Team Hot Sauce.

Individual honours go to......

2nd runner up - Jon Hines - 24 tacos

1st runner up - Patrick Kenzie - 24. 25 tacos

Champion - Steph Wong - 24.75 tacos

Before we get a lot of flak on the part-tacos, Steph and Patrick had already beaten the clubhouse leader (Hines), with no other competitors left on the course. They were both willing and able to continue ordering more tacos, but there was no need at that point.

The staff at Ethel's tell us that the current Ethel's taco-eating record is 34 tacos in one hour. I think both Steph and Kenzie could beat that with a little practice. They were still going strong when the contest ended. 

Remember...... fall league is Tuesday nights ......... 

Thanks to all who participated. There were several personal best performances last night. You all did WODS proud!!

A few of us were keeping a close eye on the wackometer through the night. For those uninitiated, it's similar to a tachometer, but measures revulsions per minute as opposed to revolutions, and is scaled on the Hines-Kenzie-Wong Scale, an analog to the Saffir-Simpson Scale that rates hurricanes (see Wikipedia). But I digress...more info on the Hines-Kenzie-Wong Scale at the bottom for those interested.

There were numerous peaks and lulls in this taco-tastic storm of marginally-comestible consumption. Frequent periods of low supply kept the storm from reaching the unbridled fury that would have signified its full potential, but it spent considerable time in Category 4 (Ridiculous) range and it managed to squeak into Category 5 (Ludicrous) range on a few occasions before rapidly dying out, dropping from Binge-Fest status through Culinary Storm to Culinary Depression and finally a shaky Culinary Wave in a matter of mere minutes. When the dust settled, over 500 tacos had seen their demise, and along with them  a substantial number of pitchers. 

Congratulations to all WODSers (WODSians? WODSagonians? WODSish?) for weathering the storm and contributing to its bluster. The sky was bright today, but the after-effects are ongoing. 

The Hines-Kenzie-Wong Scale

The scale separates binge-fests into five different categories based mostly on revulsions per minute, but also including factors such as speed, endurance, jaw torque, and consumption of extraneous BEvERages. The Canadian National Binge-Fest Center classifies binge-fests of Category 3 and above as major binge-fests. Most tacoff agencies use the definition for sustained revulsions recommended by the World Culinary Association (WCA), which specifies measuring revulsions of a sample of at least 3 persons for 10 minutes, and then taking the average. However, the U.S. National Culinary Service defines sustained revulsions as average revulsions over a period of one minute, measured using the same 3 people. Jaw Torque values are approximate.

Eat-offs generally begin as Culinary Disturbances, and as they gain in intensity they move through the pre-binge-fest categories in the following order:

• Culinary Wave
• Culinary Depression
• Culinary Storm

...before becoming fully-fledged binge-fests. The five binge-fest categories are, in order of increasing intensity:

Category 1 (Unusual)

Category 1 eat-offs cause  1 to 7 revulsions per minute and usually cause no significant emotional damage to nearby patrons; however, they can cause mild queasiness in those with poor constitutions, as well as offend people fasting in the immediate area. Also, they can produce mild shortages of supply or slow service in unprepared eating establishments.

Category 2 (Outlandish)

Eating storms of this intensity (8-20 revulsions per minute) do minor emotional damage to nearby patrons, and severe queasiness in those with poor constitutions. Moderate damage is caused to food supplies, and offense may be taken by people who haven't eaten for a few hours. Small people that smell like food begin to get worried.

Category 3 (Preposterous)

Culinary events of this intensity and higher receive the name of major binge-fests. Category 3 happenings (21-45 revulsions per minute) can cause nearby patrons to consider changing tables, and bring about full-on nausea in those with poor constitutions. Food supplies take considerable damage; shortages are very likely and slow service is virtually assured. People with pets leave the establishment, and offense is possible in those who have eaten recently. Those involved begin to feel minor bloating.

Category 4 (Ridiculous)

Binge-fests of this intensity (46-70 revulsions per minute) do significant emotional damage to observers; those with poor consitutions who have remained present generally lose their lunch. Food supplies are nearly wiped out; shortages are common and service is unable to keep up with demand. Non-participants generally take offense, and those involved experience significant bloating and minor next-day after-effects.

Category 5 (Ludicrous)

Category 5 is the highest category a binge-fest can obtain in the Hines-Kenzie-Wong Scale. Revulsion is pretty much constant. These events cause irreparable, long-term emotional damage to observers and loss of consciousness in those with poor constitutions. Food supplies are wiped out and shortages are assured. Service is completely unreliable. Non-participants congregate in other parts of the establishment and comment on the happenings though they are complete strangers, servers are intimately aware of participant status, and those involved suffer significant intestinal discomfort and radical next-day effects. 

I heard that after Category 5, the participants blow up and order is once again restored.

Has anyone heard from Jon Hines? He might have blown up on his way home from the bar.

Let's nail down the rules on this.  Perhaps several categories to appease all will work best.

I can confirm that Jon Hines is alive and kicking, or at least shuffling, I'm definitely not sitting.  It was a hard fought battle but I was really glad when my table ran out of tacos and I was unable to keep eating.

I left just before Kenzie and Steph ate their 24th taco because I was having trouble focusing on stationary objects, but had I known that I could have won by just sitting there for another hour until Steph and Kenzie left an then eating 4 more bites of taco I might have done it.  I mean, really, 1/4 of a taco?  Am I allowed to claim the scraps I ate of other peoples plates? I think that might count for at least 1/4 of a taco.   How are we to know that they didn’t shift all the taco filling to the pieces of taco they didn’t eat?  I'm fairly sure I drank more beer than both of them put together and I ate ALL of the tacos in front of me. 

I'd also like to submit that there were 2 Pickle Bombs that logged 20 tacos or better (Jon 24, Scott 20) and 7 of us in the mid teens (Nolan had 18, there were 3 16's a 13 and 2 12's.)  Our team collectively ate 176 tacos with an average of 13.5 tacos per person unless you don't count our pregnant cheerleader, Karen, then we ate 172 with an average of 14.3.  Go PICKLES!

Finally, for the sake of my health and marriage, I'm officially announcing today that I am retiring from the world of competitive taco eating, never to eat more than a quadruple order of tacos (16) again (unless the money is good enough which I sincerely doubt it ever will be.)

 I'd also like to congratulate my worthy opponents on their victory and strongly encourage Steph to try for the Ethel’s record.  Win it for WODS!

Wow, what a night. Thinking about how much beef and cheese was consumed, we probably ate at least 1 cow between all the teams if not 2.

I think the whole story of the 25th taco needs to be told, so that everyone understand the 3/4 and 1/4 of a taco.

The Computers and Electric had a hard fought game that finished just before the 8:30 pm hard cap time, long after many teams had already left for Ethel's. By the time we got to the bar, there was already a long wait for our initial 160 tacos (between two teams) due to a beef shortage. Whether they had to send someone to Sobey's or slaughter a cow to fill it, we're not entirely sure, but based on the wait time, I'd be willing to bet on the latter.

Once the tacos did come, we had a lot of catching up to do. Rumours spread that Jon was onto his 18th taco and several Hot Sauce team memebers were at least into their mid teens. The feeding frenzy was fast and furious and needless to say, 160 between 18 people ran out fast and we had to wait again for more tacos.

As the competition drew later into the night, more and more competitors dropped out. To name a few that would probably have done well if they didn't have to go would include Greg Matthews and Geoff Chan.

When Jon came over to our table to check us out, Kenzie and I were probably around taco 20 and debating how many to order. Kenzie had 19 and I was on 22. Kenzie wanted to get to at least 20 and if I ate the other 3 of an order of 4, that would put me at 25, defeating Jon and being named the Taco Queen. I'm not sure what happened but I guess Kenzie must of ordered two orders, bringing 8 tacos to the table. And now, if you do the math, if Kenzie ate the 4 tacos of that order, he would have tied Jon at 24 and have to order more to pass me.

By this time it was approaching 11:30, many had left, and only a few die hard fans remained (a special thanks to Laura Seaman and Scott Kemp for sticking around to cheer me on, despite having to head to Ottawa very early the next day). So to put an end to all the ridiculousness, I offered the remaining 1/4 of my taco to Kenzie to allow him to surpass Jon, and still mantain my victory. So the damage was done. No whole or partial tacos were left behind as Kenzie and I claimed the victory in the name of small people everywhere (considering both of us probably weigh in at a combined total of around 250 lbs).

Now that's my side of the story. I didn't quite have the same after effects as Jon. Although I found myself a little giddy by the time I got home from the surge of protein and fat racing through my body. The morning after lead to a very painful RPM class, but my taco baby and I made it through. Will I eat another taco again? Definitely, just not anytime soon. I think that Ethel's record may stand for some time. I might have the mental will power to plough through it, but I fear my body may just start rejecting it in ways I just don't want to even imagine.

Congrats to everyone, Taco Tuesdays will forever be memorable events of my Ultimate summers in Waterloo.

Normal 0 I was at work the other day, and I overheard a man on the kitchen staff complaining that he missed his movie at the movie theatre because he had gone to Ethel’s on Tuesday and there were no tacos to be had for well over an hour and a half.

 And then I found 20 dollars

Steph Wong, I feel a new nickname a brewin'.

 PS: Lefler, best post ever... especially the part about the 20 bucks... scadoosh to you good sir, scadoosh indeed.

 The cheese